On Tanking in League of Legends

Are you ready kids? Here we go!

Now, after we've got the obligatory bad joke out of the way, we can move to a slightly more serious talk about something that has been a source of increasing levels of frustration for me in recent times, and that is the concept of "tanking" in a MOBA game or any other team based game where you are not using a contrived "aggro" mechanic to attract the hurt and pain to your well-armored direction. In essence, this is misleading and lately the more accurate (although still slightly misleading) term of "initiator" is used. This results in kids thinking that a proper way to play a "tank champ" is to stock up their item slots with as many armor, magic resistance and health items they can get their chain-mail mittens on. Admittedly you can get away with this on several champions but if you're doing this, stop. STOP. OH GOD PLEASE MAKE IT STOP.

Unless you have some other voodoo ritual or gosu level strategy to rival that of Gary Kasparov you are simply hindering your team assuming the enemy will attack you first just because you play a "tank"!
"But Dajs...!" I hear you cry across the vast internets, in your SpongeBob SquarePants pajamas
"If I don't get the armor and HP how can I tank?!"
Easy there Tobias, you can still do considerable damage in team fights while maintaining your shrapnel spangled badge of Tankus Supremus... that is you could... if you weren't a COWARD!

Let's face it, being a tank is a tough, harsh and sorrow ridden job, your sole purpose taking the hit for someone else so that they may drive their gold coated fists through the skulls and abdomen of our common enemies, you are there to hold them down while they pummel them into dust in a glorified curb stomp maneuver and expected to gladly give your life to save someone else's. Although noble, this reduces you, the player, into an utter pansy and a mild annoyance to the enemy team. 

Instead arm yourself with mighty steel, single out the meek and charge headfirst into the fray! Drive your spear into the heart of the enemy, brutal, effective, fast, and let them DARE ignore your presence as you make their AD carry shit his proverbial pants at the onslaught of you first strike.

Gist of the whole story is that you MUST be capable to deal enough damage for the enemy to consider you a serious threat and choose to attack you first. More likely than not you will be diving into their spells and attacks aiming to kill their highest damage dealers (most typically the weakest targets). Make them panic, make them fear you and tremble when they see you moving towards them, if they suddenly flash away when you're casually strolling with no intent to pile-drive them into the ground, you know you did your job well.
Things to master to become the World's Numero Uno in all things tanky are:

1. Mastery over champion skill use, his strengths and weaknesses
2. Building your items properly to enhance his strengths, diminish weaknesses, deal enough damage while being resilient enough to kill AT LEAST ONE member of the opposition.

These two things are up to you to discover, as with anything in life personal experience will ultimately beat any guide or text on the subject, ingenuity and clever thinking will win over in most cases. You may still use some guidelines while you're still learning but most of them are just common sense that you will pick up in your first 10-50 games.
A good place to find some good guides is MobaFire, specifically those made by DuffTime, he's one clever boy, he is... hillarious too!

And the next time someone says that tanks deal no damage crush his bones into a fine paste and feed it to Baron Nashor for such heresy!

Until next time, brave warriors, FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT!